This Weeks Need to Know: Explosions! Headphonejack-gate! Shade Throwing!

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GEE, THAT’S A NEAT FEATURE!

If you’re one of those rebellious souls who owns a Samsung Note 7…we have some bad news. But don’t panic. Promise? Okay. Now slowly remove the phone from your pocket…and gently throw it as far away from your body as possible because it could explode at any second. Phew.

Well, not really. But in a blow (no pun intended) timed “conveniently” close to Apple’s unveiling of the iPhone 7, Samsung is recalling 2.5 million Galaxy Note 7s in 10 countries due to a battery issue that was causing some phones to spontaneously combust. Foul play? Probably not. The issue only affects 0.1% of the total volume of phones sold, and can also be fixed by heading to the store and swapping out your battery. Sooo maybe we shouldn’t have told you to throw your phone earlier. Sorry about that.


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GOOGLE HATES THEM!

Apple’s big September Keynote happened this week and Tim Cook’s dad bod wasn’t the only impressive piece of technology on display. Some highlights: Safari’s middle-finger to Google Chrome, a Mario game for iOS that you can play while eating a sandwich, an Apple Watch app that makes you feel bad about yourself for not working out, and, of course, theiPhone 7. That’s right folks, the new iPhone is shinier (literally), water-proofier (maybe?), and is rendering that expensive pair of wired headphones you just bought obsolete. But who are we kidding? We’ll see you in line at the Apple Store next week.


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APP-CEPTION!

If you ever wonder why there’s always “an app for that”…this next one is probably why. According to a media analytics company comScore, apps now account for 50% of all internet activity. This not only underscores just how important Smartphones are in internet consumption—but also that users would rather be on Tinder than deal with any of that old “browsing the web” nonsense.

On the flip side, a separate study I just conducted shows that the leading cause of users (menot interacting with the internet is trouble finding anything on my phone because there are too many effing icons on the home screen. If only there was an app that could organize all those apps…


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OPTIMIZE YO-SELF

Ever been in a meeting where someone starts talking about SEO and you just kinda nod your head and agree with them because you don’t really know what they’re talking about? Or maybe you just have a really cool hiking blog and want to impress your friends with click rates? Well our resident SEO expert and clown psychologist Cris Hazzard has dropped some serious truth on the matter in the form of a series on our blog. This week’s article is on measuring your SEO, so check it out! Ya just might learn something.


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INTERGENERATIONAL SHOTS FIRED!!

Some serious shade was being thrown on Twitter this week as Millenials and…well…people older than Millenials did battle using the hashtag #HowToConfuseAMillennial. What started as lighthearted inter-generational banter turned pretty dark as Millenials proceeded to blame older generations for all of the fun stuff going wrong with the world. Classic Millenials, am I right?