This Week’s Need to Know: Pokemon Everywhere All The Time

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Pokemon Go

ALL POKEMON ALL THE TIME

Welp, it’s Pokemon Go‘s world now, and we just live its confusing mix of reality and monster-things. The app that seemed to take over my all of my friends’ lives last weekend has officially become the hottest mobile game, marketing platform, and near-death-risk ever. From leading users off cliffs, to causing car accidents, to catching cheaters, the app is being blamed for just about everything. At least we can all profit from ignoring reality, though.


Trump versus Hillary

POLITICAL UNCONVENTIONS

As a sign of Internets to come, CBS News and Twitter are teaming up to livestream the upcoming Republican and Democratic Conventions. While one just might have a few more fireworks than the other, both the RNC and DNC promise to be a rockin’ good time. Twitter recently inked a deal with the NFL to stream some upcoming games as well, possibly indicating that it’s time to just toss out the ol’ boobtube.


 Snapchat Filters

SAVE YOUR SNAPPY SNAPS

Remember that whole “feature” where Snapchat messages disappear automatically? Not anymore, chump. The mega-app introduced Memories this week, which will help you dig up and save everything you wish you could forget. You can also post old photos and videos for the first time, so now you can even make your past-self feel awkward and uncomfortable!


Mini NES

NOSTALGIA NINTENDO

Okay this is awesome please take my money because I need this mini throwback Nintendo right now please. In the same week that Nintendo’s stock price skyrocketed because they brought Pokemon back to the masses (see my whiny-old-guy-rant above), the gaming company continued the nostalgia-theme by announcing this awesome mini-NES complete with 30 built-in games. I’m also hoping to get a Simon and a Skip-It for Christmas this year.


Racing Taxi

YOU BINGE TOO SLOW

If you want to hear President Frank Underwood sound like Mickey Mouse, you’re in luck: speed-watching has arrived. At a time when people are starting to complain that there’s too much good content to consume (lucky us!), a new trend of watching shows at 1.5x to 2x speed has some people binge-watching faster than the rest of us. I’m gonna warp-speed all 7 seasons of ‘Golden Girls‘ tonight.


Saved By the Bell

PEOPLE SURE LIKE TALKIN’ I GUESS

Apparently “communications” are a big bet for the future, as yet another messaging app IPO’d at a crazy-high valuation this week. Line, a calling and messaging platform popular across Asia, opened on the NYSE this week at $42/share, with a market valuation of $8 billion. With nearly 500 million users, Line is competing directly with WhatsApp, who was purchased by Facebook earlier this year for $19 billion. I’m not even sure what to make of this, but I just sent a postcard and I have $3 in my pocket! Same thing, right?