This Week’s Need to Know: That time Trump’s Twitter got deleted

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We post a lot of articles in our company Slack channel so that we can argue about them together before writing this newsletter. This article generated a lot of strong reactions from Sanborn employees, especially Director of Client Services Wesley Poer and In-House Counsel Jason Bleck. I don’t blame them; have you seen some of these posts!? There’s one where Hillary Clinton is compared to the devil and Trump is compared to Jesus, so readers are encouraged to “PRESS ‘LIKE’ TO HELP JESUS WIN!” This led to Wesley and Bleck having a debate about whether anyone would actually take this post seriously. At first Bleck wasn’t so sure, but Wesley told him to “let the existential dread wash over” him. Bleck seemed to indeed let the existential dread wash over him, and started using the word “sheeple” a lot. After viewing the Jesus post, Partner Cris Hazzard was also quoted as saying, “Sometimes I wish people would hire us to do fake news.” You heard it here first.

 


 

At around 7pm EST last night, the @realDonaldTrump Twitter account disappeared from the internet. When users searched for the account, an error message returned reading, “Sorry, that page doesn’t exist!” But apparently, heroes do. Twitter reported a few hours later that the account had been “inadvertently” (suuuuure) deleted by an employee on what was her last day at the company, and I say we find out who this woman is and replace one of the newly removed statues with a statue of her. During the deletion, the internet promptly exploded in a way it hasn’t since… well, since covfefe, which I guess was only 5 months ago. It was like a political solar eclipse, and for 11 minutes, it was beautiful.

 


 

This week, Bitcoin’s value passed $7000, which I guess is a pretty big deal. While reading articles about the surge, I realized that when I think of Bitcoin, I imagine the gold coins that you collect in Super Mario. But I was pretty sure that’s not really what it is, so I did some serious investigative journalism to try and come up with a definition of Bitcoin that I could understand (and that hopefully you would too, our dear readers). So here it is:
Bitcoin is a cryptocurrency (aka internet money) that has been around since 2008. It isn’t regulated by a country’s central bank the way that most currencies are, but can be traded for dollars, Euros, yen, etc. The value of a Bitcoin is derived by a process called mining, which is done by harnessing computer processing powers to solve math equations and the process becomes harder and harder until the maximum number of Bitcoins is reached (20999999.9769).
I bought .0033% of a Bitcoin today so that I can make this article into a truly investigative series. I’ll report back on what happens the next time it’s my turn to write the newsletter… if I’m not already on my Bitcoin-funded yacht in Tahiti by then 😛